30 life lessons that I learned in 30 years


It’s my birthday and it’s a big deal because I have been on mother earth for 3 eventful decades! So! Here are the lessons that I am carrying with me as I march upward in life…

  1. Loving myself is not selfish
  2. I can never go wrong with being myself
  3. Spending time with myself is time well spent
  4. Believing in God is not optional
  5. I cannot do it without God
  6. Friends come and go, love them while they are there, let them go when it’s time.
  7. Love is meant to be enjoyed, at least if it ends, I’ll have the memories
  8. Living in the present is HARD but essential
  9. I can love people but not like them.
  10. Not choosing is a choice so I cannot be mad if someone else chooses for me.
  11. “There is no graduation on life… we all learn as we go.”-Lilly said it

  12. Motherhood is a ministry, not a fatality.
  13. It is hard to make people proud of me if I am not proud of myself.
  14. My dreams do not need approval stamps from others
  15. Fall 99 times, get up 100 times
  16. God will give me what I need, not what I want.
  17. All things are working for my good even if I fall apart in the process
  18. As long as I attach my joy to a thing, a person or an achievement, I won’t find it.
  19. I can have joy anywhere, anytime and in every situation
  20. People see me how I see me.
  21. I am pretty darn resilient.
  22. “We have patiently suffered long enough, hoping that someone or some kind of luck would one day grant us more opportunity and happiness. But nothing external can save us, and the fateful hour is at hand when we either become trapped at this level of life or we choose to ascend to a higher plane of consciousness and joy. In this ailing and turbulent world, we must find peace within and become more self-reliant in creating the life we deserve.” ― Brendon BurchardThe Motivation Manifesto

  23.  I cannot just say “Thy will be done” to God, I have to walk the talk.
  24. Doing the right thing is extremely hard but it’s not the reason why I cannot do it.
  25. My tears are not signs of weakness, they are confirmation that I am still there.
  26. “You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I’ll rise.”-Maya Angelou

  27. I define my value, I decide what is OK and what is not.
  28. I am Free
  29. Self-care is not “I will do it when I have time” kind of thing, it’s ” I have to do it so that I can overflow into my loved one” kinda thing.
  30. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Prov 31:30

Exercising my joy muscle

I am challenging myself to read more this year. For February I picked up The Book of Joy and it brought me as much laughter and as much joy the title promised. Not only was this a conversation between his Holiness Dalai Lama (Buddhist), Archbishop Desmond Tutu (Christian) and Douglas Abrams (Jewish) but also, the author successfully relayed the camaraderie between the spiritual leaders interviewed in the book. 2018-02-13 07.36.29

I have many highlights in the book but in this month of love where we are prone to beat ourselves up for falling short on our goals or resolutions, I appreciated the reminder that Joy is a choice.

I was reminded that like any choice that I make, it is possible that I am constantly challenged to change my mind and choose something else. However, this is where I should be OK with being selfish.

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So here we go…

I, Raya Bayor promise to #SHARETHEJOY, see the world through joyful eyes to find the beauty in everything, appreciate everyone and let HAPPINESS be my guide to hug strangers along the way, hold dearly onto their stories and have the courage to let go of my own. To find one another, to feel and to let joy surround me. This is my pledge.