Food for thoughts…

I found that when you start achieving things and making differences, you hear different types of “wow!”

There are those who are genuinely in awe of you, there are those who just can’t believe it and there are those who never saw you coming. Regardless of what the “wow” means, you had to believe in your dream.

I think we can all agree that What truly matters is what you say to your self. I hope that this week you say to yourself that:

  • You can and you will
  • You matter
  • You are worthy of love, kindness, and respect
  • You can do all things
  • You are kind
  • You are smart
  • You are a beautiful human being
  • You can achieve your goals

Share what you would add to these affirmations below… And have an amazing week.

Running on empty…

I had to be quiet for a while because I was losing sight of what really matters. So for a while, I did what was inevitable so that I can recharge.  I did a lot of journaling, a lot of crying, a lot of reading and now I am here. I am clear about what drives me, where I am going and where I draw the line.

So let’s reflect a little bit…What drives you?

Is it the anger and the resentment of past experiences? Is it the need to prove them wrong? Is it that you are trapped?

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Or is it because you have life in you? is it your Dreams that must become reality?

I found that when I am stressed, angry and I feel like I am not heading anywhere, it is because I am holding onto things that I have no business carrying.

The tricky part is that some of the things that we need to let go are invisible. As uncomfortable as it can be, I learned to be quiet with myself for a few minutes a day. I have come to cherish those moments.

Journal prompt: How will you free yourself this week?

Let it go…

Have you done an inventory lately? What are you holding on to?

As for me, I’ve been reorganizing things and it is amazing the things that we hold onto just to feel secure. I learned that I’ve got to let go of some things in order to make room for greater, better things.

What would you let go off despite the hurt, to make room for better things?

cheers to an amazing and freeing week.

Choosing kindness

What do you do when you are struggling, nothing seems to go the right way and things just suck? What do you do when you feel like you just can’t go on anymore? What if your problem is just too big and you don’t know how to tackle it?

I found that it is true that the best thing we can do is serve someone else.

You lost your job and you have nowhere to go? find a place to volunteer

You see that single mother struggling to make ends meet? how about you bring her a bag of groceries?

That person you saw getting picked on because they are different, how about you learn their name?

As we move around and face these week’s bliss & hurdles, let’s see if we can be a rainbow in somebody’s cloud…

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”- Maya Angelou

It can be so tempting to want to be in your bubble and to say ” I got my own problems”  but there is something about the putting a smile on someone else’s face or speaking life into something or someone… It is a gift that keeps on giving.

Here are 5 things that you could experience if you choose kindness:

  • Free and natural anti-depressant (serotonin): when you are kind, you produce serotonin which is known to help you feel good.
  • Ever helped a person and you instantly feel like superman or superwoman? Along with improving your mood, acts of kindness give you boosts of energy
  • As a big fan of Grey’s Anatomy, I am often amazed at how doctors can still treat people when they are hurt. Well! guess what? Acts of kindness reduce pain.
  • People who are kind live longer
  • We can all use more love in our lives: when we are kind, we release Oxytocin and apparently, cupid’s arrows are dipped into this.

I don’t know about you all but I want to choose kindness all day, every day…

PS: Find out more about kindness here 

When it feels like you are not enough…

Happy New week!

I hope your week is off to a great start and you find many reasons to smile throughout your week.

Just a quick reminder that You are enough and your very best is good enough…

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
– Edward Everett Hale

As we extend kindness to people around us, I hope we also extend kindness to ourselves.

On living a little…

In 2013, my philosophy was “Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be, the future’s not ours to see… que sera, sera…” (yes I still love the song and yes! I used to repeat those words to myself quite often)… Well, 2013 quickly became the year that I had to fight the most difficult internal battles and let’s just say that I now look back and ask myself “what on earth was I thinking?” It was not all bad, in fact, it was the year that I really started making my own life decisions. I was 25 (if you have traditional African parents, you will understand).

Why am I bringing this up? People have been telling me to live a little. While some of them are right (I do need to find more ways to have fun), Some of them were really confusing. For example, I am at a point in my life where I cannot justify spending over a certain amount of money on clothes, regardless of how good it looks on me. Yes! I work hard and no! that is not why I work hard.

In reflection, I realize that when I decided to adopt that philosophy in 2013, I also stopped dreaming. I stopped living intentionally and I let life happen to me and it was really the worst thing I could have ever done at such a prime time of my life.

As I am approaching another decade of my life, I know that I AM LIVING.  I am choosing to be intentional about every aspect of my life (spiritual, career, financial, social, family, physical and personal development) because…

“Where water is the boss there the land must obey.” — African proverb

God has the final say but there is a reason why we have to ask before we receive. While it is not always fun to say no to “living a little,” keeping my “why” in mind is a great reminder that it will be worth it in the end.

“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.”
— Aristotle

Exercising my joy muscle

I am challenging myself to read more this year. For February I picked up The Book of Joy and it brought me as much laughter and as much joy the title promised. Not only was this a conversation between his Holiness Dalai Lama (Buddhist), Archbishop Desmond Tutu (Christian) and Douglas Abrams (Jewish) but also, the author successfully relayed the camaraderie between the spiritual leaders interviewed in the book. 2018-02-13 07.36.29

I have many highlights in the book but in this month of love where we are prone to beat ourselves up for falling short on our goals or resolutions, I appreciated the reminder that Joy is a choice.

I was reminded that like any choice that I make, it is possible that I am constantly challenged to change my mind and choose something else. However, this is where I should be OK with being selfish.

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So here we go…

I, Raya Bayor promise to #SHARETHEJOY, see the world through joyful eyes to find the beauty in everything, appreciate everyone and let HAPPINESS be my guide to hug strangers along the way, hold dearly onto their stories and have the courage to let go of my own. To find one another, to feel and to let joy surround me. This is my pledge.

 

On getting validation

If you are like me, you question everything. It is very hard to take that first step unless I see the full picture and I know exactly where I am headed.  Well! my world stopped when I realized that I had to go to Chicago for a week. It was my first time being away from my baby and it was like pulling a tooth for me. Every step leading to the trip was painful, however, I went…

Right before a snowstorm and freezing temperature so I did not see much of Chicago. However, I accomplished the mission that took me there, I completed my first residence in the Social Work program, yay!

As painful as the whole process was, I am glad I went because I left Chicago feeling confident about my skills as a Social Worker and I also got the validation that I am on the right track.

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I did not realize that I was seeking validation for what I chose as a path for my career and I realized that (thanks to the amazing people I spent the week with)  I have not given myself permission to be Social Worker because I am interested in so many other things.  I was terrified of wearing that title because I am interested in doing many other things and I did not want to limit myself.  I made peace with the idea that my abilities are limitless and I can wear as many titles as I want.

Do you find yourself raising walls around you and resisting to grandiose dreams? well, I learned this lesson this week and I am sharing it with you: DON’T!

New Year, New You!

I don’t recall who said this exactly but I remember that she was asked how she is doing in the new year and she said “same s@$t different year.”  I still find that amusing…

How are you feeling so far? Did you have new year resolutions? Are you still on track?

I learned a few years ago that goals work better than resolutions. I also learned that I am more likely to succeed when I focus on one thing at a time. So I set quarterly goals. The first quarter of 2018, I want to eat better because as Jim Rohn said…

PS: One of the life-changing videos I’ve watched is a workshop that Jim Rohn did and I watched it Here.

Here is a shortlist that I found motivational to stick to my goals…

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Found Here